I have noticed a ton of people find our blog by using the key words “bad food plots”.. Which makes me think, everyone wants to know how to ruin a food plot. Luckily for you I have a black thumb and I am a complete expert on bad food plots.
Step One:Decide if you really want to plant a food plot.. I mean really consider this. Food plots take work. A lot of work. Just don’t do one.
Step Two: Stay inside. I’m serious do NOT go outside and scout out the perfect spot for a food plot. Just keep your little butt in your Lazyboy flipping between The Outdoor Network and ESPN and checking your titter. That’s where you belong.
Step Three: Okay fine, youuu decided you didnt want to sit inside, morphing into a couch potato. If you made it this far, it means you found a decent spot to put in a bad food plot. The best this to do is just avoid dragging your tractor out to this “perfect” spot. Do not rotatil the ground and do not test the pH Levels of the soil.. Just don’t. Maybe you should go back inside at this point.
Step Four: I told you to not test the pH Levels! But if you did.. You did.. I tried to stop you.. Depending on how your results turned out don’t lime or fertilize the field.
Step Five: Next you want to pick out a seed to plant. Try your best to avoid a seed deer actually like to eat. This means avoid seeds like rye, clover, oats, turnips, and rapeseed. Deer are also partial to corn, beans, pumpkins, and sunflowers. Basically, avoid planting anything a deer would find yummy.
Step Six: Don’t use and Roundup or any other weed preventative products. If you want a bad food plot, you need to let all those weeds and scrub bushes to take over the field. Maybe you should just avoid your field at this point. Go out golfing, take you wife on a hot date or maybe check out Cabelas.com. Just avoid the field!
Step Seven: Around July don’t bother to set up a trail camera anywhere near the food plot. Chances are if you followed Steps One thru Six correctly, your food plot is crappy and deer won’t be anywhere near the plot. Also don’t put up a tree stand at this time. Wait until at least the day before opening day of hunting season. You want those deer to be shocked at the cool, new shiny tree stand!
Step Eight: Continue to do the bare minimum and try to avoid the plot all together. Once October rolls around, don’t even bother hunting here because chances are the deer won’t be there because you planted the ultimate bad food plot.
Wait??? You actully want to grow amazing food plots?? Well that’s easy! Just do the opposite of everything I just told you! Happy Hunting!